Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Make those drastic decisions quick, before the universe decides for you — because once fate has to intervene, it’s judgment/punishment is going to be way more harsh than even you can dream up on your worst PMS day. So, unless you really crave drama and despair, bite the bullet and do what you must. A clean break will be your best reward.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Something fantastical is coming and it could be anything you’ve been secret hoping for. The deal though is that this superb wish will come to you by way of a friend or a group association. By midweek you should start seeing results. However, don’t expect things to happen in a linear fashion. Surprises are surprises for a reason.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
How you start this week won’t be the way you end it. The stars are aligning to put the spotlight on you and give you the power to have whoever you desire eating out the palm of you hand. Chances are though, this kind of authority won’t have you thinking with your libido, but with your ambition — but not to worry, cash and sex always seems to go hand in hand in your life.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
If you want satisfaction in your love life, you’re going to have to take the high route…and although denying yourself of the instant gratification will feel like 1 million hammered nails into your brain, trust holding out for the perfect scenario will feel 1000xs more orgasmically explosive. Until then, make patience your tease.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Clear out the old, as a new crop of booty call digits arrives. While they’ll all have something special to offer, the best ones will probably be from foreign lands, offering colorful accents to your life. Just don’t over think these situations though, as these encounters will unravel in time to reveal their surprises. In the meantime, lie back and let the love glide in.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The time to seal the deal is now. Whatever the state of your current relationship, expect it to jump to the next level fast and for your paranoias to end. If you’re single, chances to meet someone you can connect with more than physically can happen out of the blue. Of course, as a gal that does like to be three steps ahead of herself, the only catch is figuring out how to keep the steady pace.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Extreme romance, creativity, fantasy and absolute consuming passion is the only way you love — and as you’ve seen, it’s only gotten you so far. Not to say you can’t have all those things, but when you think in such extremes, you often miss the boat when it comes down to the more practical aspects of a relationship. This week, expect to learn your lesson.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Your self-esteem gets put under the microscope as your love life takes a severe shift, bringing a hook-up that isn’t exactly your style, but fits you perfectly nonetheless. What to do when your vanity is at odds with your libido? Own up to whatever floats your boat or hide it in the closet? Only you can steer your way out of this cliffhanger, but trust inquiring minds will want to know.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Discussions about shacking up with your boo will be looming in your mind. Be brave, be the one to break it out and get the ball rolling. At the least, you’ll get the deal about where you’re heading. If you aren’t hooked up with anyone, then time to start thinking about relocating, as it’s time to start using feng shui to get your ass laid.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Good gossip is your drug and will make you do the craziest things. So, when big news finds its way to you this week, love it — as it’ll put you in the hot seat to do with the info as you will. Perhaps it’ll be finding your ex has gone impotent or that your newest love is actually royalty. Whichever the story, wield it like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
When it comes to love, thing may be twisted and confusing, but thankfully an onslaught of mad cash is headed your way and will be key to clearing your mind of all headaches. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness was never you. If you play your cards right, as in sort out your distress on a vacation, far away from the problem, upon returning, all will be right with your world.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
A day in your life should read as follows: people bowing at your feet, praising your beauty, fawning over your genius and raving about your elegant tastes and sophisticated style. As of the 1st, when the solar eclipse in Leo occurs, that should be the baseline of your normal day. If this doesn’t happen, recheck your birth certificate.