Relationship Conundrum: When His Career Comes “First”

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a dilemma…My boyfriend has a career. OK, so you’re probably grumbling to yourself, “I can think of at least 10 things worst than that.” But did I tell you it’s a music career?

Yes, my guy is one of a few trying to change the direction of hip hop, so we never have to hear crap like “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” ever again. I’m really proud of him for fighting this uphill battle, but I can’t help feeling a little jealous or disappointed when his career comes before me, like when he deejays EVERY Friday night.Case in point, last week he had to prepare for a show in Toronto, where one of his artists would perform and he would deejay. This understandably meant hours of practice. I had no problem with that because I wanted both of them to be as prepared as possible. Now, here’s the problem. Since he would be out of town for the weekend, we decided to spend more time together during the week. So last Tuesday, it’s 10 o’clock and I’m still waiting for my guy to tell me the artist has left, so I could come over. I get his call and I’m told they should be done “sometime after 11.” Since that was a vague time, I was told I’d get another call “sometime after 11.” Well guess what, that second call never came! Instead, I got a text message saying he was sorry, but practice is taking longer than he thought it would. So, by 12:30, which was after I had packed an overnight bag, I was sleeping in my bed alone.

The next morning, I was pissed, not at him, but at life. And I kept asking, “Why did the cosmos mess up my chances of seeing my boyfriend when I wanted to?” Sounds a little selfish, huh? Well, I agree I am being selfish, which is something as an only child I pride myself on not being.

I mean, if he didn’t have a job/career or dreams or ambition, I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. And logically thinking any progress or goals he achieves now will only benefit me and us in the future. Well that’s if we end up married, but a girl can hope, can’t she? So I guess the lesson here is that life has disappointments. Or, “the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”