For The Week Of June 30-July 6, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s that time to take the lead and gather all your friends and his friends into one place and get that happy family vibe circulating. If you can create peace among the crowd, consider it one step closer to having the life you should be living with your honey. Yes, it’ll be nerve-wracking and yes, it won’t necessarily be cake, but if he’s the right one, all will fall into place.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Motivation will be sinking to dismal levels, but your imagination will still be cranking out the kinkiness. What does this all mean? Expect your loud mouth bottom to be working it as full capacity, making the others work to get some. Yes, wielding fear will be your best sex toy and in fact, you might use it so well that in time you can integrate it into your relationship dynamics.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Lie all you want too, but you have a bigger picture that’s filled with so much sap you could almost drown yourself in it. Don’t deny yourself this fantasy, because the more you keep it to yourself, the less chance you have of making it real and the bigger the odds of being miserable. Sure, opening up is painful, but as you’ve learned, only the first time hurts a little.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

It’s not like you’re stupid, but when it comes to scorching passions you’ll say anything to yourself to make it work. It’s not like you’re weak either, but right now you’re just too horny for words. Although mystery, secrets and covert affairs can enhance arousal beyond, understand these consequences you’re playing with may not be worth the price.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Happy times are coming your way and it’s all because of love! Seems even you, Ms. Pragmatic can get that tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach and do silly things, like spend hours finding the right ring tone for your boo. Sure, your IQ points might feel like they are falling at a fast pace, but your sex kitten rating is out the roof. All in all, you’ll be getting a sweet deal.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Saying what’s fair isn’t being a bitch. When it comes to domestic responsibilities, time for equality and change. After all, being a perfect girlfriend does not mean being his thankless maid and hooker. He needs to ante up, show he’s not some slovenly lump, and start hauling ass with gratitude and action. If words don’t change him, withhold your services until he does.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Complications in love are coming. Just as your steady baby gets more driven to go the next step, in walks a sexy stranger that seemingly embodies all your fantasies. While your logic and libido shoot off in two different directions, it’ll be you that has to start facing the music and dealing with where your heart truly lies.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Oddly enough, practicality and tradition will be the things that turn you on the most. Don’t worry; this probably won’t be a permanent change, but something you need to try out just to see how it feels. Sure, flying off to the ends of the earth for just one kiss is usually your style, but what you crave and what will feel the best now is just someone sweet to cuddle with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your temper will shorten by the 2nd, unleashing all your uncensored opinions. Luckily for you though, karma will be on your side. As you’re typically easy going, this bout of verbal diarrhea won’t only feel good for you, but will be just what inspires someone near you to get their crap together. Expect undying gratitude to come your way, and inciting a few crushes your way too.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Despite how much you love to talk, it’s those moments of silence that’ll make you the most enamored with your baby. You know it; being a slug together will be your most romantic encounter this week. Go ahead and explore your comfort levels. If you’re new to each other and not anxiously analyzing the situation, know you’ve found a keeper.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A more spontaneous you will be out and ready to party like it’s 2999. Let your impetuous tastes lead you were they may, even despite the fact that your mind will be reeling from the pace. Sure, you’ll have lots of paranoias to deal with as you live it up, but as long as you can justify your time by being happy, does anything else really matter?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Consequences that cause guilt aren’t your specialty. Thankfully, you’re a smart cookie and with enough self-analysis you’ll be able to think up the proper excuses that rationalize all your naughty behaviors. Think of it as fate letting you steer karma where you may. After all, you’re strong enough to do anything you set your mind to.