I hate to be redundant, but when this dude gets picked as the HOTTEST BACHELOR by People, I need to step in and say something, and of course present their very own grotesque pictorial as evidence of just how not hot he is. The magazine photographed Mario posing in various iconic images, including this one, as the blond boy from Blue Lagoon. Total dry heave moment. Luckily, some good will come out of this: Radar put together a slideshow with Mario transplanted into other iconic images. The laughing that ensued helped control my urge to barf.