Top Five Songs That Objectify Men

5. “My man gives real loving that’s why I call him Killer/He’s not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, he’s a thriller/He takes his time and does everything right/Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night/He’s a real smooth brother, never in a rush/And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch” — Salt ‘N’ Pepa featuring En Vogue, “Whatta Man”, Very Necessary
This is, like, the ultimate man objectification song. Remember how awesome the video was, with Pepa in the bathtub? I wish Salt could get it together so there could be a real reunion.

4. “Sometimes I nibble and sometimes I bite/I kinda sorta wanna get skintite/Have some now save some for later/But there’s no cute boys in Decater/I got boys all over the road/I got boys helpin’ me unload”– The Donnas, “40 Boys In 40 Nights”, The Donnas Turn 21
My freshman year of college, two of The Donnas were in one of my required classes. They were not very smart or talkative, but I suppose they were busy thinking up lyrics like these. There were no cute boys in Santa Cruz either.

3. “If u really want to be a star/We gotta do it in your momma’s car/Naked in a Cadillac, I’ll jack u off” — Robyn, “Jack U Off”, Rakamonie
To be perfectly honest, this song is about jacking off a woman (um, how?), but I thought it was provocative enough to apply to men too. And I think Robyn is rad and I want to bring back the term “jack off”. Don’t you?

2. “I like the innocent type/Deer in the headlight/Rockin me all night/Flexin his might/Doin it right/Keepin me tight/Takin a bite out of the peach tonight” — Peaches, “Aa Xxx”, The Teaches of Peaches
Peaches’ main objective is objectifying men, so I had many songs to choose from, but I didn’t want to make y’all blush too hard.

1. “And this black dude I called King Kong/He had a big ass d*** and a hurricane tongue.” — Lil’ Kim, “How Many Licks”, The Notorious K.I.M.
Lil’ Kim brought female empowerment, if that’s what you consider her racy lyrics, to the hardcore gangsta rap scene. At under 5-foot, she was a small little firecracker, objectifying all the men, including her main man, the three times as large, Biggie Smalls.

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