Stumped for a gift for your dad that isn’t the latest 10-blade razor or a subscription to Men’s Journal? Have no fear! The Frisky has teamed up with Thrillist to bring you the top Father’s Day Gifts that don’t suck—and they’ve brought a surprise guest to help with our efforts to rock your old man’s world.
Your pops keeps two areas of his life a closely guarded secret: how he obtained his sass-quashing old-man strength, and what he really wants for Father’s Day. To help with the latter, we brought in Patrick Duffy, the Ultimate Dad, a title he earned by successfully raising many television children (Step By Step) and sleeping with Suzanne Somers. OK, it was implied. And on TV. But, still, rock on Patrick Duffy.
Bad-Ass Golf Carts
This Sin City mod-shop tricks out golf carts into roadsters, limos, hummers, and more, then blings things up with 20-inch rims, leather seats, A/C, and plasma TVs, making your dad the envy of every gangsta rapper on the 12th fairway.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: I think these are so cool. I think I would do the Munster’s giant hearse, because then you could lay down between holes, as long as you’re moving every once in a while so they don’t close the lid. Custom-order one at BadAssGolfCarts.com.
Wolfgang’s Vault Vintage Rock Goods
Snag pops old-school apparel, posters, photos, and backstage goodies from the likes of Hendrix, the Allman Brothers, and CSNY, all blissful reminders of the day Dad broke up his band and became an accountant.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: Those things are cool for dads, because we don’t know sh*t about modern music. If you got it as a Father’s Day present, you’d probably give it to your wife anyway. It’s emotional…you immediately get the love jones going again. Let’s hope you both seize the moment…and she seizes it quicker. Get the goods at WolfsgangsVault.com.
This SF outfit offers a massive multi-pocketed travel wallet as well as a super-slim money clip with slots for an ID and what few credit cards you’ve left him with.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: I went from a wallet in college, then to handbags, ’cause we’re talking the 60s and we all had shoulder bags, then I went to a fanny pack. It’s not like you need a huge wallet…if there’s space, you’ll fill it. And so I got a slim wallet. You can put it anywhere on your body and hide it from pickpockets. You just put it in your sock, they think you’re going for your gun…but that’s in the other sock, they don’t know that. Nab one at gusstyle.com.
Send this e-shop $10, and they’ll send dad…something. So, when it sucks, it’s only kind of your fault.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: This is what gift receiving is about: the surprise. I was doing a play in London, and I got a book called “Famous English Recipes”, which I thought was an oxymoronic statement. It’s like 97 ways to cook fish & chips…Page 2, with or without vinegar; Page 3, with or without vinegar. Roll the dice at SomethingStore.com.
Unlike most units, this in-car number’s fully hooked up to the ‘net, and also provides live traffic data that’ll direct you towards the fastest route — giving dad a hyperintelligent computer to disagree with when mom’s not around.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: Out of all these gifts, this one’s the most brilliant. It pissed me off, about two years ago, I was sitting around and said, wouldn’t it be cool if you could mesh GPS up-to-the-second traffic reports? Of course, I never did anything. But you don’t want to just stay idling in traffic with $4.50 gas. And road rage and drive-bys. It could solve all the problems of this country. Grab a unit at Dash.net.
Roadside Sandwich Maker
The old man can plug this press into his cigarette lighter and get his sandwiches all deliciously toasty even as he cruises to pick up a refill on his sandwich-combating cholesterol meds.
The Ultimate Dad’s Take: It’s like in the old days when people would wrap food in foil and then put in on the manifold of their car. That’s kind of the antique version of making a panini in your backseat. I think I made a panini in my backseat in college once, but we won’t go into that. Pick it up at SkingCompany.com.