We totally love cheesy, awesome, dancey R&B songs, especially when we listen closely to the lyrics and crack up. Usher’s “Love In This Club” provided much joy with the line, “I want to bag you like some groceries,” but it’s time to call attention to some other poetic words of love and lust from R&B MCs. Here are five of our favorite lines…
5. “Now your body’s got me feelin’ like spending/With a backroom I could come to live in/And your hair weave looking kind of pretty/The way you back it up on me baby/Lord have mercy.” — R. Kelly, “Feelin’ On Yo Booty”, TP-2.com
R. Kelly has a thing for big butts, especially on the dance floor. This particular lady has a butt that R. Kelly would like to move into. It doesn’t hurt that her hair weave is looking nice too. If I was this woman, I would be concerned, because we have all heard about what R. Kelly likes to do with butts he likes. Just sayin’.
4. “Skip dinner and we gon rent a movie/You order chinese food right before u do me/You coming on strong baby let me wash me hands/She said hurry up then get your ass to bed.” — Usher, “Trading Places”, Here I Stand
This song is about Usher and his lover “trading places” in the relationship — he wakes her up with a cup of Folgers and makes her breakfast in bed (On the menu? Orange juice and toast with grape jelly.) and she takes him shopping and then orders delivery before they have sex! A day in the life of Usher, so fun. Anyway, I wonder if it’s a good idea to have sex AFTER you eat? Can’t you get, like, cramps?
3. “Got a girl at the crib, we can take it to the mo-mo/You can bring a friend, or you can ride solo/Let me get my camera, so we can take a photo.” — Ray J, “Sexy Can I”, All I Feel
At first, I thought Ray J was saying mo-ma, like MoMA, the NYC art museum, but Catherine informs me that “mo-mo” means morning in playa-land. Anyway, this lyric is very biographical, as we all know Ray J did get his camera when he had Kim Kardashian over at his crib and they took more than a photo.
2. “Stick out my tongue/ and I’m bout ready/ to hit this pretty gritty bitty with persistence.” — D’Angelo, “Brown Sugar”, Brown Sugar
He is talking about cunnilingus, people, and it sounds like he is good at it. But why is it “gritty”? Has she been to the beach and has sand in her undies or something? So confusing.
1. “Girl, I’ve had a one night stand girl/You just might be wifey/Then I’ve had a threesome/I swear you’re more than enough/If it wasn’t for you I’d still be out doing my thing/You’re the only thing I do/You’ve been my best of everything/Oh, girl better than sex.” — Tyrese, “Better Than Sex”, Alter Ego
There is no greater testament to the love of an R&B singer than his willingness to give up his ho-in’ to be with you. Tyrese had plenty of threesomes and one-night stands, but when his better than sex girl came along, he was like, “Girl, you’re better than all this naughty sh*t, let’s make love back at my crib and then you can be my wifey.” Such. An. Honor.