Everywhere I look, those dang Jonas Brothers are there, torturing me with memories. Memories of what, you may ask? Hanson. That painfully annoying threesome of brothers from the ’90s who performed that song “Mmm Bop”. Just like the Jonas Brothers, the young one was sweet and adorable, the middle one was the one the girls peed their pants over, and the older one got hit with the ugly stick. I HATED Hanson. They gave me the heebie-jeebies. Why is it that teen girls are still drawn to this crap? Now, before you think I’m being judgey, remember I have readily admitted to a fondness for New Kids On The Block, among other questionably talented artists. But they at least had moves and embraced their inherently human sexuality (remember how Jordan Knight would grind his crotch at the girls in the front row?), which religiously motivated boy bands like the Jonas Brothers and Hanson are not allowed to do — until they grow up and have three kids before they’re 25, like Taylor Hanson did.
Previously: Poll: The Worst American Idol Guest Appearances