So I’m Engaged: The Politics Of Choosing A Bridesmaid
I’ve been reading this book I Was Told There’d Be Cake, a collection of personal essays by Sloane Crosley, for the last few months. Though I think the book, in general, is a little “try too hard”, there’s one story in particular that really struck a chord with me. “You On A Stick” is about the time that Sloane’s best friend from her youth called her up out of the blue, after not having spoken for years, and asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. The essay ends up being about a lot of issues associated with being a bridesmaid — from the mundane and annoying tasks associated with the duty, like making a veil out of wrapping paper at the bridal shower, to the more serious issue of female friendships and what they mean. The latter hit home for me though — for the record, my bridesmaids will never have to make an asinine hat for me out of ribbons unless they put a gun to my head and force me to wear one — because I’ve been having a really hard time with this particular part of getting married.
Not to be all “Wah, wah, poor me”, but I’ve never had many close friends. I’ve had plenty of friends in my life, but people I pour my heart and soul out to? Yeah, not so much. I’m actually a pretty private person, despite revealing details of my engagement or telling the world I’m on my period on The Frisky. I’m not big on trusting people with my deep personal feelings on things that actually have to do with, you know, me, though I will tell anyone who will listen my deep personal feelings on celebrity parents or the election or abstinence education. So, when it came time to think about who I want my bridesmaids to be, not to mention my maid of honor, I was a little bit stuck. My three wedding magazines (I bought a new one that I’ve barely cracked this weekend) made the following suggestions for people who could be BM’s (hahahaha) and the MOH:
Whew. Do not even get me started on the Maid of Honor. I am not having one. I just cannot deal with that decision too. Besides, the whole lot of them can just work as a team to humiliate me with gross gifts at the bachelorette party.