So you’re going to New York City. Obviously there is a long list of touristy things you can consider doing, especially if it’s your first time — Yankee game, Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Museum of Modern Art, Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building…or you can skip all of those, watch a few New York movies for that experience, and stick with our picks instead. Trust us — these are way more fun AND way more New York.
Eugene O’Neill Theatre
230 West 49th St., Midtown
(888) 808-8781, SpringAwakening.com
This Tony Award-winning musical features sex, incest, nudity, and rock music by Duncan Sheik. Broadway doesn’t get any cooler or hornier.
Couples Cooking classes at ICE
50 West 23rd St., Flatiron
(800) 522-4610, ICECulinary.com
In addition to classes specifically for couples, you and your dude can sign up for any of the recreational classes, then silently compete to show up the other participants culinary skills before you sit down to nosh on your concoctions.
Rock Star Karaoke
Saturdays at 9:30 at Lucky Chengs
24 First Ave., East Village
Always dreamed of playing in a band? Air guitar in just your panties in front of your mirror doesn’t count, and neither does live band karaoke, but at least this is way, way, way more fun.
Hotel On Rivington
107 Rivington St., Lower East Side
(212) 475-2600, HotelOnRivington.com
There was a time when the Lower East Side was a den of sin and excess and poverty. It still has all the sin and excess, but it’s a little posher these days. This hip and sleek hotel is evidence of that transformation. Expect modern furnishings to sink into, as you people watch the hipsters disappearing into the bodega across the street to buy PBRs.
125 West 45th St., Midtown
(212) 354-2323, HotelQT.com
The rooms are teensy, but the prices aren’t too shabby at this Times Square-area hotel. Close to all transportation, Broadway shows, and….oh hell, why am I telling you that? The real reason to stay here is the awesome indoor pool bar.
335 Bowery, East Village
(212) 505-1300, TheBoweryHotel.com
Dying to see an Olsen twin or two? Stay at this new hipster hotel, where the lobby lounge is like a magnet for celebrities pretending to lay low. Housed under a pre-war facade, the rooms are bright, modern and posh.
Milk & Honey
134 Eldridge St., Lower East Side
(212) 625-3397 (we think), Mlkhny.com
This speakeasy is hard to get “invited” into. The word is that you need to call and get your name on the list. When they’re ready for you, they’ll call you back and then you can come on back. Seriously. But it’s worth it. The bartenders take their drinks seriously and the ambiance, despite the “elitism” is actually very welcoming — star f**kers and name droppers aren’t welcome.
510 Hudson St., West Village
(212) 242-3021, EmployeesOnlyNYC.com
This art deco inspired bar has a bit of a speak easy theme as well, thanks to a curvy bar, fireplace, and dim lighting. The drinks are top notch and the bar bites are as well — the oysters are stellar.
Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome St., Chinatown
(212) 334-9676, HappyEndingLounge.com
This lounge was once an exotic massage parlor — they still have guest towels at the bar — but though their are no more rub and tugs, patrons still know how to get down. Whether you come for a mellow night early the week with friends, or head there late night for a post-midnight dance party, it’ll be a happy ending to your evening.
ROMANTIC DINNER A DEUX
152 Stanton St., Lower East Side
(646) 602-2004, AzulNYC.com
Unless you’re a vegetarian, one of the best foods to eat on a date is, um, meat. This Argentinian restaurant is one of the sexiest and most carnivorous spots in town, serving sizzling dishes while serenading their crowds with the coolest array of Latin music. You will leave full and horny.
110 Waverly Pl. West Village
(212) 614-6670, BabboNYC.com
So listen, in order to get into this eatery, owned by famed Food TV chef Mario Batali, you need to do one of two things: 1) call exactly one month in advance at 10am sharp for a reservation or 2) call around 2pm on the day you want to go and try and get a cancellation. It’s that impossible to get a reservation, but trust us, the food is so worth it. Look how fat and happy Batali looks! Oh, and get the pork chop. And the mint love letters. And the semi-freddo for dessert.
113 Saint Marks Pl., East Village
(212) 614-2728, CrifDogsNYC.com
You’re probably thinking, “Why is there a hotdog joint on this?” First of all, this is New York, so you need to eat at least two hot dogs — one at sporting event and one at Crif Dogs. Second of all, these are no ordinary weiners — they are deep-fried and prepared in a variety of oh-so-gourmet ways, like the Spicy Redneck which is bacon wrapped, with chili, cole slaw, and jalapeno. Plus there are always hot single dudes eating here. Not sure why.
94 Rivington St., Lower East Side
(212) 375-1701, Babeland.com
The original outpost of this sex shop is tasteful picky about its wares and is extremely pro-woman in its offerings. What better souvenir from your trip to New York than a big apple sized vibrator?
Kiki de Montparnasse
79 Greene St., SoHo
(212) 965-8070, KikiDM.com
Named after the artist Man Ray’s mister, Kiki DM sells gorgeous and high-end lingerie, bondage kits, and vibrators in one of the two boutiques in has in the U.S. (the other is in LA). You can walk in with your head held high and walk out with a bag full of tricks.
Museum Of Sex Gift Shop
233 5th Ave., Flatiron
(212) 689-6337, MuseumOfSex.com
Before you hit the awesome gift shop, definitely spend time exploring the multiple exhibits at this innovative museum. You’ll see plenty of images and objects that will make you laugh and think. The shop sells an amazing array of books, funny and cool objects and knick-knacks, as well as arty sex toys. In other words — something for everyone!