Dealbreaker: Bad Music Taste

There are so many things involved in attraction. From clothing to chemistry, a never-ending list of items can be turn-offs. But sometimes differences are a turn-on, from magnets to men, you know what they say: opposites attract. Still, some things are so repellent, they’re dealbreakers.

When my friend introduced me to a man who was over a foot taller than me, pale as a sheet of paper with pitch black hair and black leather boots laced to his knees, I fell head over heels for this grown-up goth. I’m sure we looked like a bit of an odd couple, or the cast of a horror movie (me being the girl that would get killed first) but he was sweeter than the little pink dresses I wore. On our dates, he was so cute and surprisingly funny, all I could do was giggle and find ways to show off my cleavage.
After a series of hot make-out sessions, I was ready for him to take me home to his secret lair. As I sat on his couch, trying to find the position that made my gut roll the least, he put on some mood music. I was ready for Black Sabbath, or even Marilyn Manson, but then all of a sudden I heard Sade, the queen of easy listening. I couldn’t help but burst into laughter thinking he was being funny again. When I realized I hurt his feelings, I tried to explain to my not-so-smooth operator that this lite music just made me feel like a cheesy middle-aged man was trying to put the moves on me. He begrudgingly put something else on: ambient electronica. Ick! There’s nothing sexy about feeling like you’re inside a Sharper Image sound maker.

I tried to block it out and stay focused on him, not the repetition of the musical blunder. But I just couldn’t get the crappy tune out of my head and it started to rattle the very foundation of what I saw in him. I decided to shed some light on this vampire and go through his music collection. My goal was to save the sound of us spending a night together!

Unfortunately, it was no use, his iTunes was chock full of sensitive files. What kind of goth keeps Alanis Morrisette Unplugged out in plain sight?! Even I don’t have that many feelings. I was so confused! If he likes soft music, why does he look so hardened? It’s false advertising and I had fallen for it. I thought he was going to rock my world, but I was not going to sit there and let him litely jazz it. That sounds like a deal breaker. Turns out, unlike records, you can’t judge a man by his cover.