Breaking News! Ashlee Simpson Pregnant With Her First Emo-Punk Child!

According to Us Weekly, that is. Isn’t it amazing how so many people in Hollywood can’t seem to figure out how to put on a condom properly? Papa Joe must be freaking out.

UPDATE: Pete Wentz is denying that his fiancee is knocked up, saying, “There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood. This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover. … I mean really, this is crazy. … I mean were engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.” [Perez Hilton]

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