The Nookie Know-It-All: Spicing It Up In The Sack

“Lots of things about my relationship are great, but the sex is vanilla — my boyfriend is weirded out by my collection of sex toys, and isn’t willing to experiment. What should I do?” — In Need Of Spice, New Orleans, LA

I think this depends on what kind of toys you have. If your collection is filled with gag-balls and strap-ons, I can’t say I blame your boyfriend for feeling uneasy. On the other hand, if all you want to do is lock him to the bed with furry pink handcuffs, there’s some room to negotiate.

It can be weird for guys to go into a relationship with a girl who is so reliant on toys to get off. The real point of sex is supposed to be to bond with your partner, and learn different ways to satisfy each other…and those don’t always involve batteries.

Maybe you should look into why you want to keep this museum of toys. Are you worried you won’t be able to achieve an orgasm without them? If they’re just something fun that you occasionally like to play with, tell your boyfriend that. If he knows they’re not meant to replace him, he might be more willing to let go and experiment.

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