For the week of March 17-23, 2008
Pisces (February 20-March 20)
Your misunderstood villainness will be in full effect, causing undue mayhem wherever you go and inciting love affairs that you will end cruelly and coldly — but to you, it’ll be all in a day’s work. Yes, there’ll be no accounting for your behavior this week, but what can you do when born with a sex appeal so strong and passion to love so intense?
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Singledom is stellar. If you’re basking in yours, be grateful. If you’re one of those committed Aries, then sorry, your cosmic climate won’t be as spectacular. In fact, your relationship will feel like a monkey on your back with partnership issues going into red alert. Sure, they’ll have valid points, but this isn’t the time you’ll want critiques or demands.
Taurus (April 20- May 20)
A journey down memory lane will seem innocent at first, but if you go too far down the road you might find drama. Seems old feelings do die-hard and you might not realize that until too late. Of course, there’s always the future you can mess up too, but if you’re smart, you’ll trust your instincts and know when to quit while you’re ahead.
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
A gust of life revives your social life, but be careful. Your lack of interactions may have you seeing the prospects with rose-colored glasses. Despite what your libido is urging you to do, slow down and keep a watchful eye on red flags that pop up. Not that you have to take screwing so seriously, but keeping your integrity intact is a nice benefit to having fun.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Go as far away from your norm for the hottest sex possibilities. Break free from the mold you hold onto, thinking you can plan ahead with whom you fall for. Chances are, your ideals have been your defense mechanism. Now, time to put down the armor and let cupid’s arrows shoot you with what it will and for you to like it. Stranger things have happened.
Leo (July 23- August 22)
Fire hits your chart again on the 21st, making you feel more like yourself than you have in weeks. Let loose your party animal, but in a bigger way — as in booking an exotic trip or heading out on an outdoor adventure. If you have someone to bring along, expect intensity to erupt during the journey. If you’re flying solo, make the moves to find satisfaction.
Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Your boyfriend/booty call is holding all the cards, making you edgy, confused and completely conflicted. This is when you have to look at your hand and see if you have anything to play — or even if you want to. The pot might not be big enough for a gratifying enough win, but your ego never ceases to amaze you. Yes, darling, time to decide what truly works for you.
Libra (September 23- October 22)
If your life has seemed like it’s been running on a rail and you feel trapped like a gerbil in a cage, a reprise is coming by the week’s end, putting the focus back onto you and what you love best — partnership. Seems your sweetie has seen all your hard work and is empathizing. Make the most of the love-fest by holing yourself up together and let him spoil you rotten.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
All those sadistic stories about you are true, and you’ll know exactly what this means when your booty count hits an all time high and leaves many more confused and maimed. Unfortunately, you can’t help but love with the intensity of an Uzi, but the aim of Mr. Magoo. After the carnage, the crazy thing is there’ll be one survivor from the pile that’ll come back for more.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Spring’s arrival will have you busting at the seams with excitement. Just when you thought you couldn’t take another day of the tedium, something inside you sparks alive and puts you back onto the party circuit as if you’d never missed a beat. To say the least, your hibernation period is over. Throw those granny panties out the window and slip into the leather.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Talking isn’t exactly your thing, but if you want to keep the peace with your baby, you’ll have to at least look like you’re listening. While most of the conversations will involve a compromise of sorts, they’ll be more hot air than anything. Nod your head periodically and be done with it. Sometimes, just going through the motions is all that is necessary.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
If you can’t trust your friends, then who can you? Of course, if you want them to sympathize and support you, you’ll have to be discreet with the information you lend out. Like if you want them to hate your latest boy toy, tell them everything. If you want them to like him, edit your stories. Realize it’s you that’s the puppet master now, so communicate with purpose.