For the week of March 10-16, 2008
Pisces (February 20-March 20)
The planets are continually moving into positions made to suit you. So, with the world in the palm of your hand, do with it what you will — make everyone lick your boots and believe the sun sets and rises out of your booty. Seriously, it’s aspects like this that’ll make even your most ridiculous dreams come true. Don’t hold back the demands.Aries (March 21-April 19)
Not all your assumptions about people you meet are going to be right, no matter how psychic you think you are or what kind of judge of character you have going on. Keep an open mind about the weirdos and mystery men that come your way, as they won’t show all their cards right away. One of them might just have something more enthralling to offer, if only for a moment.
Taurus (April 20- May 20)
Be thankful you’re not as effed up as your friends, so it will seem this week when you get bombarded with all their relationship problems, making you see how brilliant your life is and how perfect you are at handling the sudden dismal obstacles of love. Take this as your cue to embrace your amazingness and inspire those needy friends beyond their current constraints.
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Your defenses won’t be as sharp, making you a prime target for freeloaders. No matter how grim your mood gets, be good to yourself — as in keeping boundaries with people you know aren’t worth your time, just to have company. While the isolation route blows, the upside is a guaranteed week devoid of STD scares.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
So the story goes, Cancers are supposed to be so sensitive and so nurturing. While in your own mind you might feel that way, it’s not coming across to the outside world. Show off some of your humility and have that special someone know you’re real. Reveal your gush and drop the too-cool-for-school routine. Besides, no one, but you, is buying it.
Leo (July 23- August 22)
Mystery, magic and mayhem will play a part in a week that’ll twist and turn your mind, body and soul into all sorts of configurations that’ll make you think. This means you’ll either discover you’re dating a serial killer or will meet someone that’ll get under your skin and shake your ideals to the core. Whichever the deal, have close friends or your shrink on speed dial.
Virgo (August 23- September 22)
Expect a surge of love to hit midweek, sending you into a commitment mania. Expect the walls to feel as if they’re closing in on you, your mind to think all sorts of insane ideas and views on your love life to fill with sheer panic. Don’t let the emotions get the better of you though. It’s okay to want more, ask for it and under these skies, to get it.
Libra (September 23- October 22)
There might be a blip of action on the 13th; otherwise efforts for affection will feel too heavy or ugly to get into. Instead of trying to change the environment and go deeper into frustration, put in longer hours at work. Focus on nailing new routines and get yourself into a more ambitious mindset. At the least, the exhaustion will help you forget the current crappy love scene.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Forget another day of holing yourself up at home, thinking about what you want, when the world is revolving at the speed meant to give you everything you want. Make a wish now, but be specific. Confessions and worthwhile fascinations are coming, but if you don’t place that order now, it won’t make itself apparent later.
Sagittarius (November 22- December 21)
Unless you work at home or have a career that deals with real estate, family, or things of that nature (architect, interior decorator, etc), your luck won’t be so hot. Expect your mood to tank midweek and to coast on a fairly vegetative state. At best, you might order in a pizza and a booty call, but that’s as rocking as it’ll get.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Ease up the tension between you and your honey with racy pics and text messages, or talking dirty in bed. Sex will be your only salvation as silly arguments arise, making you want to shut each other out. With this inevitable disturbance, keeping some kind of connection is necessary — thankfully, the sexual chemistry will be the easiest to keep alive.
Aquarius (January 20-February 19)
You were born under a sign of perversion, so own up to your inheritance and show off that imagination. It’ll be when you flex this muscle you’ll get the most bang for your…you know, even if you’re just expressing it verbally. The idea alone of going into your Pandora’s Box with another will be enough to incite a whole new fix that’ll brighten you up like a red light special.