The Nookie Know-It-All: Drunk Dialing

Do you have any handy tips to avoid drunk dialing/texting? I always wake up soooo regretful! — Bad Judgment, St. Louis, MI

Do you know why it’s against the law to drive while drunk? Or why you were forced to watch those high school specials that showed some kid/dog/old person getting pummeled by a drunk driver? It’s because drinking makes you act like a total idiot on the road. You weave in and out of lanes, burn your butt on cigarette ashes, and drop mini cheeseburgers on your lap. If you’re not allowed to get behind the wheel, do you think you’re allowed to talk on the phone? No need to raise your hand…the answer is NO.

To avoid calling Mr. Can I Come Over (or killing a small child), try these tips to save yourself from drunk dialing:

1. Get a designated caller. At the beginning of the night, give your phone to a friend. Make her promise not to give it to you UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
2. Delete the phone #s of any guys you like. Keep their digits at your work/school/wherever you won’t be.
3. Don’t drink.

Number three is the most obvious one, and one I would never, ever abide by. That’s why I take taxis.