The Ex-Files: Is It Possible To Just Be Friends?
Can you be friends with an ex? The Sun seems to think so, as long as you don’t become a “bunny boiler,” British slang for “totally crazy.” Sex writer Emily Dubberley says remaining friends with a former lover is all about having good ex-iquette and recognizing when your presence in each other’s lives is causing more harm than good. That means no drunk dialing, no ex-sex, and no being judgey wudgey about every person they date after you, even if that person is the poor man’s version of your brilliance. But herein lies the problem — can you be good friends with an ex who you seriously, majorly loved? Or will the fact that even the tiniest of feelings remain forever nix the potential for a real friendship? I loved, in a very immature way, this one guy in college and had a rather torrid fling with him (well I felt it was torrid, he thought it was just fun), leaving me kinda damaged for a year afterwards. Since then, I’ve chilled out and we’ve become good friends, though that has been somewhat of a problem for our mutual current squeezes. So we took the friendship down a notch and now just keep in touch via email every few months or so. Better for everyone that way, though I suspect I’ll get an invite to his wedding and vice versa.
On the flip side, my current squeeze also had a torrid relationship in college with someone who turned out to be a complete bunny boiler. She was kicked our of his friendship circle per both of our discomfort and is no doubt making some other guy’s life a living hell.
So can you remain friends with an ex? In my experience, yes, so long as neither party is completely mental nor insecure. But let’s hear what you Frisky gals have to say. [The Sun]