Sweet Valley High: The First Time We Read A Book That Made Us Feel Funny Down There

Whoa. We totally just found our favorite new blog (besides The Frisky, of course!) — a San Francisco writer named Casey is rereading and recapping the entire Sweet Valley High series. On the off chance a few of you readers weren’t fans of the series, it was the book series for tweens growing up in the ’80s and provided loads of thinly veiled sexual innuendo that overwhelmed our sense of what life would be like once we got our period. The series followed identical twins (twins were a big thing in the ’80s) Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield around their totally perfect town in California. Both of the twins were blond, with green-blue eyes and size-six figures, which permanently imprinted in our brains that a six was the size to be if we were going to be popular in high school. Anyway, Jessica was implied to be the slutty one (she dated tons of boys) while Elizabeth was the patron saint of the series who always had a serious boyfriend. All of the various plot lines subtly informed us of what girls older than us might be doing behind closed doors, though the closest the ghost writers behind the series came to anything majorly sexual was talking about Jessica’s exposed breast in book three, Playing With Fire. As we recall, “Jessica’s breast bobbed against the water…” We reread that page over and over again, and needless to say, it made our pee-pee go boom, boom, boom. But then again, we hadn’t discovered V.C. Andrews yet, so our literary world was perversion-free. Anyway, for pure hilarity check out Casey’s blog “The Dairi Burger” and tell us all about what your tween literary guilty pleasures taught you about sex in the comments! [The Dairi Burger]