New York City Daters Get A (Reality TV) Guru

So, with the writer’s strike still going on, we’re all going to have to embrace reality TV a whole lot more, if that’s even possible. I, for one, am trying. Tomorrow at 9:30 p.m. EST, Matched in Manhattan premieres on Lifetime – since I have a date tomorrow night, I just watched the episode online. Let me help you decide whether you’ll watch after the jump…

P.S. Doesn’t Matt look kind of like Barry Manilow sans Botox?The show focuses on matchmaker Matt Titus, who recently left his player lifestyle behind and got married. In this episode he meets a new client, Selene from Tennessee, who has an accent bigger than her backside. (We’re not making fun of her — she called her own butt big.) Since she doesn’t have “New York style,” they make her hair less poofy and dress her in black. But the makeover isn’t limited to clothes. Matt visits her apartment, and she has a snake in her bedroom, Hello Kitty everywhere, and (gasp!) no cable TV. She won’t even watch herself on this show! Since Matt says a woman’s apartment is her “love shack,” Selene has to hide the snake, get rid of the cartoon cat, and call the cable company. Also, she needs to have wine, beer, and water on hand at all times.

As for where she should be meeting guys — her online attempts are not good enough — Matt has a couple suggestions:

  • Hundreds of guys hang out in Bryant Park. Selene has to go there at least twice a week and talk to strangers. (NOTE: What, homeless guys? But Amelia thinks I just need to wait for spring to try this.)
  • Wall Street is another great place to meet guys, but Matt doesn’t want Selene to partake in happy hour. Instead, she is to get up really early and “hit the coffee carts.” (NOTE: I’m not sure I’d want to interact with traders before they’ve had their morning Adderall…er, coffee. And, for that matter, I don’t really want to get out of bed before 8 a.m.)

Then, Matt and his underlings (including his Emmy-winning wife) figure out who they should set up with Selene. They decide on Darrin, and the date goes decently. Except for the fact that Selene orders lamb and Darrin doesn’t eat “anything that walks.” And the horrifically awkward moment when Selene says working as a middle school teacher was great birth control and she doesn’t want kids.

We don’t want to give away the whole episode, in case you plan on watching it tomorrow night, but we’re kind of excited to see what happens with Matt’s clingy male client who told his date he loved her on the second date. [Lifetime]