Can You Judge Man’s Sexual Prowess By Man’s Best Friend?

Amelia McDonell-Parry | January 3, 2008 - 9:07 pm

She may play an awesome bitch on TV, but Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Susie Essman told Animal Fair magazine that you can tell how awesome a man is in bed based on his bitch — that is, his dog.

“You want a guy that’s good in bed? Find a guy with a Shih Tzu or a Pomeranian or a little Yorkie. Because if he’s secure enough in his sexuality to carry around a frou-frou little dog like that, that is a guy who’s a keeper. Never go out with a guy with a beagle. I know they’re cute, cute, cute, but they’re dumb, dumb, dumb, and they have no attention span, so you’re with the guy and he might not know what to do – the next night, you have to tell him all over again.”

Crap. My dog Lucca is a mutt, but we (Note: That is, myself and my boyfriend, who parents her with me — and yes I said parent. Deal with it.) are pretty sure she’s probably a mix of Italian Greyhound (known for loving the attention of people), Jack Russell (hyper, much?), and, gulp, Beagle. This begs the question: If a man owns a Beagle with a woman, does that mean they both suck in bed? Catherine and I discuss the issue, after the jump.

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