• Sex

Can You Judge Man’s Sexual Prowess By Man’s Best Friend?

She may play an awesome bitch on TV, but Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s Susie Essman told Animal Fair magazine that you can tell how awesome a man is in bed based on his bitch — that is, his dog.

“You want a guy that’s good in bed? Find a guy with a Shih Tzu or a Pomeranian or a little Yorkie. Because if he’s secure enough in his sexuality to carry around a frou-frou little dog like that, that is a guy who’s a keeper. Never go out with a guy with a beagle. I know they’re cute, cute, cute, but they’re dumb, dumb, dumb, and they have no attention span, so you’re with the guy and he might not know what to do – the next night, you have to tell him all over again.”

Crap. My dog Lucca is a mutt, but we (Note: That is, myself and my boyfriend, who parents her with me — and yes I said parent. Deal with it.) are pretty sure she’s probably a mix of Italian Greyhound (known for loving the attention of people), Jack Russell (hyper, much?), and, gulp, Beagle. This begs the question: If a man owns a Beagle with a woman, does that mean they both suck in bed? Catherine and I discuss the issue, after the jump.

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