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Some of you may be prepping your lips for a New Year’s kiss, so here’s something for you to ponder while your tongue is engaged later on: Men and women kiss for different reasons, according to a Gallup study. Women use kissing to check on where their relationships stand. Men, on the other hand, tend to kiss to gain sexual favors or to reconcile. In other words, he wants you to go home with him after the ball drops, so, ladies, choose wisely! And, though kind of obvious, a Softlips survey found that women prefer tender kisses, while men like “lustful, passionate kisses” more. Oh, and one more thing. Tonight, before you get lost in a booze-and-confetti-filled moment, don’t be among the 76 percent of people who don’t check their breath before kissing someone. Because your breath stinks. [The Enquirer (Cincinnati)]

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“Clothes-Minded In Wisconsin” wrote “Dear Abby” about her neighbor’s 16-year-old son, who walks around the house completely nude in front of his family. “In the morning he gets up around 6:45. He walks into the kitchen and fixes a bowl of cereal. Then he stands at the counter, watching the morning sports shows while eating his breakfast in the nude. There is absolutely no evidence of arousal of any kind. When the bathroom becomes available, he goes in for a shower.”

Clothes-Minded is wondering whether it’s normal for a teenage boy to do this. What we’re wondering is how she seems to know his morning routine so well. Does she hide behind her white-lace kitchen curtains, watching the morning sports updates through binoculars and searching for signs of arousal in the house next door? Dear Abby, is it normal to spy on your neighbors so religiously? [Yahoo!]

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Harry Potter got naked; Dumbledore came out. Kim Kardashian used her sex tape to become “famous”; A nobody pretended she was Meg White so somebody would watch her sex tape. Less attractive men slept with hot women; Hot women impregnated by less-attractive men decided to keep the babies. Presidential candidates paraded their trophy wives; Hillary Clinton displayed her cleavage. Ah, the memories. [Salon]

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We’re not political analysts or anything, but we’re going to take a wild guess and say that Republican Presidential Candidate Fred Thompson just lost a whole lot of potential votes. On Wednesday in Iowa, he said, “There is no woman on the horizon that ought to be president next year, let’s all agree on that.” Denouncing one woman would have been understandable – Hillary is the competition, after all, and sometimes you need to badmouth your opponents. But he didn’t even mention Hillary! Sure, she’s the only female with a fighting chance, but he kind of makes it seem like no woman will win, not next year, not ever. Fred, dear, it’s never wise to put down the group that makes up more than half of the U.S. electorate. [KGAN]

Apparently PETA was inspired by the movie Lars and the Real Girl for its latest stunt. The animal rights group had planned to protest KFC’s cruel killing of chickens by displaying blow-up sex dolls with banners reading, “KFC Blows.” But the plan went awry when Philippine customs confiscated the dolls before PETA could put them on display in red light districts in the Philippines, Thailand, Australia, and Japan. Maybe the customs’ agents were feeling lonely? [China View]

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In our minds, R. Kelly’s 22-Chapter “Trapped In The Closet” series is right up there among great rock operas like The Who’s “Tommy” and Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”. His ability to rhyme words that technically don’t rhyme is unparalleled. His imagination knows no bounds, otherwise we’re pretty sure Chapter 10 wouldn’t have featured a midget soiling himself. But a writer for the Broward-Palm Beach New Times reminds us that it’s Kelly’s other works which feature some of his best sexual metaphors, citing such masterful lines as this one, from 2007’s “Sex Planet” (Double Up):

Eat your heart out, Walt Whitman. [Wikipedia: Trapped In The Closet and Broward-Palm Beach New Times]

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When it comes to viral content, nothing spreads faster than sex-related “memes.” (We could make a joke about how Lindsay Lohan’s legs spread faster, but that would be mean, so we won’t.) How else would you have any clue what “Two Girls, One Cup” refers to? So, in honor of end-of-the-year list making, Violet Blue put together one with the top 10 sex memes of 2007. We don’t recommend you Google her picks at work, unless the work you do involves posing naked for Playboy. Or lifting up your shirt for Girls Gone Wild. Or something.
[SF Gate]

Even though “marrying a wealthy man” came in fourth on a poll of what women want for 2008, The Sun (U.K.) used the headline, “Women wish for Mr. Rich” to tout the story. That makes it seem like all we want in life is someone who will pay for us to have nice things, like penthouse apartments and Christian Louboutin shoes, which may be partially, but not completely, true. What The Sun should have written is “Women wish to travel the world and dominate the business world,” because those desires topped the list. Who thinks a man wrote The Sun’s headline? [The Sun (U.K.)]

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Sure, this time of year is generally when people tend to remember what they’re thankful for—things like health, work, family, and friends—but the holidays are also ideal for cheating on your significant other. Who knew! With holiday parties and frantic shopping sprees as excuses, we have plenty of opportunities to deceive each other, which is really sad, because if you can’t be faithful around Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza, when can you? We think cheating around the holidays would make someone an even bigger ass than he would be if he cheated at any other time of year, so if you have a bad feeling about someone being a scumbag, here are a few things to be on the lookout for (and how we think you can prevent such suspicious behavior)…

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This really doesn’t have much to do with sex or relationships, at least in a ridiculously obvious way, but it does have to do with women seeking equality around the world, so in that sense it’s just as important to this site as the latest celebrity sex scandal. Pakistani political activist, former Prime Minister, and current candidate for office (which she hoped to hold for the third time) Benazir Bhutto was killed this morning as she left a rally. She was shot in the neck before a suicide bomber detonated himself, killing 20 others. A few months ago, 134 people were killed in a similar assassination attempt, though Bhutto managed to escape unscathed. She was the first woman to ever lead a Muslim country. [NY Times]

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As young Hollywood grows up, the young stars are bound to make mistakes, even if they seem perfect on-screen, down to their braces-less teeth and pimple-less skin. But if a show’s core fan base is between the ages of 9 and 14, it’s generally expected that its stars will do their best not to get into any trouble with the law or come across as too sexy in their personal lives. But stuff happens. Disney dealt with it earlier this year and Vanessa Hudgens seems even more popular than ever after taking responsibility for her nude pictures. But can Nickelodeon can do the same after Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy announcement? The network has already said it respects Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility and keep her baby. Now Nick may air a special on teen sex as soon as next month, which could totally make amends for its most popular star getting knocked up—not to mention throw a lil’ sand in the face of those who think kids Jamie Lynn’s age should only learn about abstinence (a lot of good that did!). Luckily, the fourth and final season of Zoey 101 has already been taped and will air beginning in February, so there will be no need to dress Zoey in a wardrobe of empire waists and muumuus or have her suddenly decide to transfer schools and leave her friends at Pacific Coast Academy behind. Crisis (kinda, sorta) averted. [People]

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One of the greatest gifts I got this holiday was the My So-Called Life complete box set. In case you weren’t part of the show’s demographic during its unjustly short lifespan (one amazing, wonderful season), here’s a synopsis: the show follows 15-year old Angela Chase as she tries to make it through life at her suburban high school, hanging out with her new “rebellious” friends Rayanne (the drunk) and Rickie (the gay), barely able to stand her parents Patty and Graham, and falling head over heels for bad boy (and totally illiterate!) heartthrob Jordan Catalano. So MSCL was hands down my favorite TV show ever and I, like many girls I know, so empathized with Angela’s character—the writers did a stupendous job capturing the teen angst meets boy crazy obsession that makes teen girls so....hard to understand, usually. Anyway, I kind of wondered whether the show would still resonate with me though I’m now older, much less angsty, and a whole lot less boy crazy. For example, would I wisely now see the appeal of Angela’s nerdy neighbor Brian Krakow over the insanely gorgeous, but also rude and dumb-as-rocks Jordan? Um, yeah. No. Brian, while used and abused by Angela still seems totally....deserving of her contempt 14 years later while Jordan’s silent but deadly indifference still is the stuff that drives girls, and apparently women, wild. Not to get all cerebral about a TV show, but does this prove that bad boys still finish first and nice guys will always finish last? [Amazon.com]

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When Lindsay Lohan first confirmed she was dating Riley Giles, she told In Touch that she was “really happy.” Well, it’s possible that she meant she was really happy because she had found someone who would feed her sex addiction. That’s what Riley’s telling tabloids, saying Lindsay used sex as a substitute for drugs and made him “go at it for hours…She’d have worn out most guys,” but not you, Riley, you’re a stallion, and classy, too. How right your ex, Bree Tierney, was when she said earlier that you were just using Lindsay for publicity. Though you seemed to seemed to enjoy Lindsay’s butt, as well, waxing poetic on its loveliness: “Her backside is fantastic, perfect, all plump and round.” Whoops, there went our lunch. [Popcrunch]

Update: Now Riley is selling pics of Lindsay from when they were together to the tabloids. Classy! [MSNBC]

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So, the whole issue of government funded abstinence-only education is a confusing one, but we’re here to give you the low-down. Basically, the Bush Administration, in an attempt to offset state-funded sex education programs, has given many states millions of dollars in funding for abstinence-only education—public service announcements and school curriculum promoting abstinence. And for the record, in case it’s been awhile since you were in junior high, sex education always stresses that the only truly “safe” sex is no sex at all, but abstinence-only education stresses that and that alone. Well Washington State just had their abstinence-only grant revoked because the state requires schools to provide additional, medically accurate information about preventing unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. It seems the grant was only good for funding sex education that covered only one aspect—not having any. Better your kids associate sex with sin, fire, and brimstone than the very real threat of STDs and pregnancy if they don’t use condoms, the pill, and other forms of birth control. [SeattlePI.com]

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Admittedly, we find Katherine Heigl annoying. Like, when she went to that Golden Globes ceremony a few years ago and didn’t clap when some other actor won over her GBFF (Gay Best Friend Forever) T.R. Knight. Or when she herself won and got all pissy when the announcer pronounced her name wrong (it happens, move on). Or when she echoed our sentiments about Knocked Up conveniently after she got done promoting the film and spending the paycheck. So it’s no wonder we muttered a little “Eww” when we found out Heigl finally married her longtime fiancé Josh Kelley in a ceremony in Utah over the weekend. He crosses a line with us, in the hairy chest department. Usually, we like chest hair—duh, the look is what made Burt Reynolds a stud for a lifetime. But Kelley has that very puzzling type of chest hair where the strands end in a perfect crew neck. It’s kind of revolting. So yeah, congratulations to the happy couple—they totally deserve each other! [MSNBC]

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Around this time of year, a lot of single people start complaining about the fact that they’re single and don’t have anyone special to exchange presents with or kiss when the ball drops. But single people should stop being sad and start exercising the wonderful opportunity they have for picking up dates during the holiday season! Or so says Joseph Matthews, the author The Art of Approaching, who specializes in teaching men how to meet the women of their dreams. He has some ideas for doing that during the holidays, and we don’t think they’re guy exclusive, so let’s take a look…

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FOR HER
On A Budget: The My So-Called Life box set demonstrates that he’s totally in tune with your inner angsty teenager and that he doesn’t expect you to watch Die Hard for the 50 mllionth time.
Been Savin’: Buying a woman lingerie is kinda cheating because it’s obviously a gift he’ll enjoy too—so is buying her a digital camera (the two could go hand in hand). Agent Provocateur is totally our favorite high-end sexy under garments—there’s nothing practical about these frills, but since when did we want practical gifts anyway?
Got Money To Burn: Christian Louboutin stilettos aka the sexiest damn shoes you’ll ever put on your totally unworthy feet. If my boyfriend got me a pair of these for Christmas, I would be totally tempted to post about it here, but that might be seen as bragging, so I wouldn’t.