U.S. Fights Bloody War in Iraq, Also Loses Icky War On Crotch Rot At Home

Ding, ding, ding! The United States, the most developed country in the western world, has won the title of Chlamydia Queen, diagnosing a record 1 million cases last year. Eww. That’s the most ever for any sexually transmitted disease. Even better? Gonorrhea is on the rise as well, and an increasing number of those cases are of the super bug variety, which is resistant to most antibiotics. God, crotch rot is such an overachiever — it’s like the girl you hated in high school who got straight As, was saledictorian, dated the hottest dude in school, and won prom queen…only crotch rot isn’t nearly as pretty. [MSNBC]