Putting Out In Bed Same As Putting Out The Trash

Or so says Dr. Pam Spurr, a sexpert who writes in the Times Online that feminism has made it so women are routinely depriving their partners of sex because “they just don’t feel like it.” Her solution to the problem of awkwardly unbalanced sexual desires in relationships is that both partners need to suck it up and treat sex as a duty that they need to perform whether they’re in the mood or not. We take some issue with this — obviously going without sex in a relationship is usually a sign of a larger problem, but her solution sucks. Nothing is less panty-wetting than having sex out of obligation, even if the person you love is getting off. Plus, routinely doing something you don’t want to tends to create, uh, anger at the person you’re performing said unwanted duty for. Additionally, Spurr seems to think that feminism makes women cold and unfeeling towards their partner’s desires — we suspect there’s a certain insensitivity to her needs at play too. So our big, bad, awesome solution? Freaking talk about it people! What’s distracting you from being interested in the nookie? Chances are the issues causing the disinterest are totally work-through-able, without throwing up your hands, spreading your legs, and pretending to moan for his benefit and not your own. Now that we’ve put out the trash… [Times Online]