Lance Armstrong: Cruising For Jailbait

Ever since he lost one of his balls, Lance Armstrong has been a skeezer. Apparently all of his testosterone was stored in the ball that was left behind. Here’s the low-down on Lance: After ditching his loyal wife who stood by him through testicular cancer, he hooked up with Sheryl Crow, breaking up with her shortly before she announced that she had cancer (convenient, no?), paraded around with socialite-designer Tory Burch for a few months but then called it quits when she wanted more of a commitment, and now Lance, 36, is offering up his uni-ball lap to pint-sized “actress” and mogul Ashley Olsen, 21. They were spotted canoodling at bar in NYC this week. The good news is if Lance wants to take Ashley for a romantic bike ride around his hometown of Austin, TX, we’re pretty sure she’d fit snuggly in his young daughter’s child seat. [Page Six]