If This Is What Marriage Is Like, We’re Never Doing It

HBO’s controversial new show Tell Me You Love Me is amazingly depressing, incredibly arousing, and mind-bending-ly boring. Focused on four couples, all of whom are straight and fairly middle-class, the show aims to give the viewers an uncensored look at male/female relationships, flaws completely exposed to their bloody mucus-y center. To be perfectly honest, we didn’t give a hoot about the high-minded premise — we tuned in for the much buzzed about, hardcore sex scenes that left some reviewers wondering if the actors actually did it. It’s like porn but with better lighting, hotter, less plastic-y people, and a great soundtrack. But like porn, we were extremely tempted to fast-forward through the pesky storyline – which has one couple that is completely sexless and another that is trying and failing to have a baby – to get to the humping. But we didn’t. And that’s why the storyline completely killed our lady boner. On a positive note, if couples were forced to watch this show, there would probably be a dip in divorce rates – but only because they wouldn’t be getting married in the first place. [HBO]