Ellen and Portia Crush Our Lesbian Dreams

Rumor of the Day: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi may be headed to Breakupsville. This is a devastating thought for a multitude of reasons.

1) They are kind of the lesbian version of Brad and Angelina. Maybe it’s just us, but Portia is all lush and Botticelli-esque, while Ellen has a really sexy masculinity to her. Our hetero-ness is tested by them.
2) No fair! Ellen wasted all those years with crazy-eyes-killer Anne Heche/Celestia and the world was so pleased when she found someone equally as adoring of her as Portia. She can’t take another breakup.
3) Umm, Portia, Arrested Development was canceled. You don’t have a career. Life isn’t going to get better than being Ellen’s stay-at-home wifey.

UPDATE: It’s not true! Praise Sappho! [DListed]

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