Asshole Monkey Steals Lollipop From A Puppy

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Dog & Cat Love
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Lollipop Crimes
How dare that monkey!

I hate it when I’m sitting on the grass, trying to enjoy a lollipop and a monkey comes along and steals it. Even worse is when the monkey steals my lollipop and then hits me in the face with it. That’s so fucked up! Well, at least this puppy is getting a lesson in sharing at a young age. But regardless, that monkey is a complete asshole. It must be stopped. [Dlisted]

False Alarm: Disney Still Keeping Sexualized Version Of “Brave”‘s Princess Merida

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Last week, I wrote about how bummed I was that the heroine of Disney’s “Brave” is undergoing a makeover before she becomes an official Disney Princess. Her unruly hair is tamed, her figure is slimmed and the Scottish Princess is a much sexier version of the character millions grew to love.

I was only one voice in the outrage over this sex-ing up.  Writer and co-director of “Brave,” Brenda Chapman, who was the first woman to win an Academy Award for this animated feature film, wrote the Marin Independent Journal in an email:

“Merida was created to break that mold — to give young girls a better, stronger role model, a more attainable role model, something of substance, not just a pretty face that waits around for romance … They have been handed an opportunity on a silver platter to give their consumers something of more substance and quality — THAT WILL STILL SELL — and they have a total disregard for it in the name of their narrow minded view of what will make money.”

Change.org brought the issue to my attention and garnered the signatures of at least 200,000 people.  When looking at Merida’s swank new Disney Princess page, which uses the original Disney-Pixar animated character, it looked as if the outraged public had won.

Alas!  Not quite true … Keep reading »

Lazy Girl Beauty Tip: An Awesome Wave

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I’ll spend 45 minutes (easy) perfecting my cat-eye in the morning, but I stopped “doing” my hair before I even started. I have a long, plentiful mane (seriously, it is a mane) that takes an entire day to dry naturally and an hour to blow-dry, so I’ve always been the type to wash it at night, sleep on it, and work with whatever weird lumps and bumps have developed come morning. Now, I like to think that I am the pioneer of what I’m about to divulge to you, but that is highly unlikely; I just happened to figure it out for myself. (But also I’ve never been the pioneer of anything before so please just let me have this.)

If you have shoulder-length hair or longer, and would like for this hair to dry into smooth, perfect waves with literally no effort or styling whatsoever, FOLLOW ME. (Also, if you haven’t listened to the album An Awesome Wave by alt-J, go do that. But first, follow me!) Keep reading »

“Gay Of Thones” Is Serving Straight Up Westeros Realness

Gay of Thrones
"Bye-bye lucious Theon penis!"

Listen up, “Game of Thrones” fans — we have some weekend homework for you. Your assignment is to go back and watch all of Funny or Die’s “Gay of Thrones” recap series because for real? This is fucking “GoT” cracksauce. Each week, hairdresser Jonathan recaps all the dragons, butts, scheming and whatnot that “GoT” has to offer. He hasn’t done a recap for this past episode just yet, so we’re posting the one from episode seven instead.

We’re super sorry we slept on this so long, because this is required viewing for “GoT” fans. I mean, he refers to Daenarys as Christina Aguilera. I live for this.

To make your homework easier, we’ve embedded the other five episodes of “Gay of Thrones” (including one featuring Alfie Allen) after the jump. Keep reading »

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4 Awesome Avocado Recipes!

Find out how to make Paleo Stuffed Avocados with Cilantro Cream Sauce, Baked Avocado Fries, Chimichurri Avocado Toasts and Fudgy Gluten Free Chocolate & Avocado Cake over at theBERRY…

Today In Food Crimes: Man Arrested For Rubbing Pepperoni On His Salami — Plus A Pickle Attack!

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Sometimes, when I’m deciding what to eat (or what not to eat) for lunch, I cruise for the latest food news for ideas. Last week, I told you about an uproar over lion tacos. Today, I stumbled upon some really strange food crimes. After the jump, a meat-on-meat masturbation mishap and a pickle attack! It’s all so phallic. Keep reading »

Weekend Cry: Bill Murray, On The Death Of Gilda Radner

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I keep thinking about a thing I read on Ye Olde Internet earlier this week. It was a passage from the “Saturday Night Live” oral history, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live. Gilda Radner was a regular “SNL” cast member from 1975 to 1980, and at one time dated Bill Murray, though their relationship was stormy and contentious. After five years, she left the show to pursue film work, and eventually married fellow comedian Gene Wilder in 1984 (after divorcing from first husband, “SNL” bandleader G.E. Smith).

In 1986, Radner was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She suffered through chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and went into remission. But two years after first being diagnosed, the cancer came back. She passed away in May 1989 at the age of 42. In the following passage, Bill Murray recounts the last night he spent with Radner. Keep reading »

Don’t Give ABC Any Ideas: “The Baby Bachelor”

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Who will accept the plastic dinosaur?

Is it possible there could be an episode of “The Bachelor” where the tears flow more freely and the tantrums are explosive? Why yes, yes there could be.  It’s called “The Baby Bachelor”! It’s segment on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” starring his very own preschool-aged nephew Wesley, who is the sweetest bachelor that series has ever seen. [Hulu]

Today In Terribleness: Mom Tries To Unload Toddler On Craigslist

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I so desperately want to tell you about good stuff in the world. Like, Joe, the retired barber who cuts homeless peoples’ hair in exchange for hugs. Let Joe remind you that humans are great sometimes. I wish Joe’s haircuts cancelled out Stephanie Redus’ attempt to unload her toddler son on Craigslist. The 29-year-old Texas mom was charged with “unlawfully intentionally and knowingly” placing her son, Conner Danger Redus, up for adoption. In an ad posted on CL on May 1st, Redus said:

“Hi, I’m trying to adopt out my three year old son. I’m not in a good place in my life and don’t feel like I can care for him properly, but I don’t know where to start. If you or know anyone who is interested in caring for him please let me know. I’m a single mom and can’t do this. Thanks, Desperate.”

Keep reading »

Paul McCartney: Yoko Didn’t Break Up The Beatles, Really

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““She certainly didn’t break the group up. I don’t think you can blame her for anything. … When Yoko came along, part of her attraction was her avant garde side, her view of things,” he continued. “She showed him another way to be, which was very attractive to him. So it was time for John to leave.”

–That’s “cute” Beatle Paul McCartney, trying to definitively dispell the myth that Yoko Ono was responsible for the breakup of  the band. I know there are some diehard Beatles fanatics who will always hold Yoko responsible. But really? Do you think John Lennon would ever do anything he didn’t totally want to do? Come on. [Fox News]
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